December 2011
317 posts
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New Years Resolution
I know I should think of something different, possible and positive. But the only thing I really want to achieve the next up coming year, is the same thing I crave for every single day.
I just want to be thinner. Fuck.
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““I think you are deeply scarred from your childhood”
“The...”
– - Family members talking shit.
Some of the wonderful words my Aunt & Uncle have uttered this morning. I wish they would just leave it be. I am disturbed and suffering, but I do not need your reminders and pity thank you very much. And I dress this way because I like it thank you very much, not...
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I am so un motivated to do anything tonight, I have so much kandi to make but I really just want to lie here. I miss Brendan so much, I just want to be in bed holding him right now.
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Feeling terrible
Had a mini breakdown over stupid stuff and wasn’t the friendliest to my grandmother and now she is seeming extremely upset. She says she thinks she is going to just stay home for NYE by herself instead of going out. The idea of her staying at home by herself is just so horrid.
I am torn between going to “Enter the Grid” and having fun with my friends for the last time or being...
Fuck
Money wasted on my NYE outfit, it arrived today and I am too fat for it and even with fasting and purging the next 2 days, I don’t have enough time to lose enough weight to fit it. So fucking upset, I have never felt more disgusting in my life.
I cannot believe I cant fit small/medium sizes anymore.
Tonight was a really good night, had long chats with two of my favourite people from Tumblr and started working on my custom Nerf guns for the weekend. Sleep now, big day of productive things to do tomorrow.
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The approaching hurricane blew over peacefully
Thank god, that disaster was adverted. I was literally on the verge of losing everything important in my life. Today is a good day because of this, I’ll try to look past I went up another pound on scales today.
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Heartbroken!
spaghetti-for-brains:
Note to self: Stop sending your odd yet charming messages and marriage proposals to pretty girls on tumblr. They want nothing to do with you.
SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE! Nooooooooooooooooooooo </3
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Hopeless
Nothing I do or offer is working, all I want to do is save him and fix him, but hes resisting everything.
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Self Induced Insomnia
So I have finally figured out why I cannot fall into slumber this evening no matter how hard I try. I have been on a detox from caffeine and what not since the start of my holiday. Only the rare occasional Starbuck’s coffee here and there when I really am itching for coffee, but have had no energy drinks, no caffeine pills, energy enhancers (legal and non-legal).
BUT, I got these new diet...
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sheissquee asked: Nawww Sammy I don’t think your’e being creepy, just intense or adamant about your thoughts. I'm pretty sure that EVERYONE would have some kind of ideal image that they aspire to, but they wouldn't have the guts to ask the internet for some more info about it. And I agree with you about the picture, she’s beautiful… O.O’
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“Some people fall in love with physical traits: flawless skin, white teeth, long hair, a skinny body, and a beautiful face. I, on the other hand, fall in love with how people see the world. I think there is nothing that separates a person more than their outlook on life. I could listen for hours about how someone navigates through life or describes the world through their eyes. That is...
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“The awkward moment when one of your known over dramatic outbursts is too creepy...”
5h34-deactivated20120320 asked: why did you decide to pierce your cheeks?
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I love how easily I creeped people out with my...
How very humorous & entertaining haha, has no one ever heard of being over dramatic before? haha, but dead serious on the whole perfect thing though, this girls got the whole package going for her. I cannot find one fault with her looks. Kudos to her!
EDIT: And now only the over dramatic post is being reblogged all over the internet making me look quite insane. Sometimes I wish I had that...
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“Oh dear, If you do not fix yourself soon you will end up another hopeless cause....”
– EmptyVoid
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Apartment
I finally found a suitable apartment while house searching, its so wonderful and is perfect for me in every way possible for me. Owner is going to look into it tomorrow for me and hopefully if all goes to plan will sign up lease ready for me so the apartment is secured by the time I get home. Since I am overseas and cannot do so myself.
It is expensive and is going to be so difficult to budget...
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“BRAT:
Within the BDSM lifestyle, the term “brat” is usually...”
– Urban Dictionary
I hate getting in trouble when I make valid...
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Measurements
My grandmother just did my measurements and I had to hold back crying.
Bust: 35”
Waist: 27”
Hips: 35”
At least I can say I am getting curves and a slight “Hour Glass” figure I have never had, but I am like ready to spend my evening balling my eyes out now. My boobs have gotten much bigger and I want my 23” waist back. Fuck everything. These measurements put...
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Just got back from my trip into NH to visit my grandfathers grave, I held my emotions pretty well. I think its because all I was focusing on was holding stuff in my stomach and not being ill. So sick today, and its only just going to get worse because I just decided to make myself dinner and had kelp noodles with a chickpea/miso sauce. Not very low calorie or nutritious of me, I can feel my...
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Christmas
Family has finally left, time to start purging and detoxing everything I just consumed.
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Useless
Owner is upset, like seriously upset and I am on the other side of the world and can’t be there for him. I am the worlds most useless and worst Pet. If I cannot be there to serve him in his time of need then whats the point of me. Fuck.